When daters get serious with their relationship goals, it may feel like a good idea to test potential spouses. However, more often than not, making up scenarios to test potential long-term partners backfires. This is because relationships are built on trust, and when someone creates testing scenarios, they are essentially lying to see how the other person will react to a perceived bad situation.
That means the tester lied and inflicted a trauma, simply for their own edification. This is why most relationship experts agree to not test potential spouses, but instead, just pay attention to how they interact in life.
For most people, who they are at the beginning of a relationship is seldom their true self. That first-date persona is their best version, but if we pay attention to how they act and interact, we can get a feel for their true self.
The old saying that, “actions speak louder than words” holds a lot of truth when dating in St. Petersburg, Florida. Pay attention to how your potential spouse acts toward you and those around them. When going on dates, does the other party offer to pay? Are they on time? What do their actions tell you about their true self? Sometimes, people will speak eloquently and paint themselves as a perfect mate, but their actions do not meet their words. Pay attention to their actions.
Next, pay attention to how they interact with you and other people around them. How do they treat St. Petersburg waitstaff or other service staff? Do they act rudely or are they gracious?
How someone treats others now can be an indication of how they will treat you later. Do they seem engaged in conversations or distracted? Are they always talking about their job or an ex-spouse? When someone tells you who they are, believe them.
Next, pay attention to how they react to you. For example, on the first date, offer to pay, regardless of who asked the other out or whether one is male or female. You are looking to see how they react to see if they already feel entitled to payment.
If they, at this very early stage, feel entitled to anything, that is a huge red flag. When the night is over, do not offer to let them in, and see if they feel entitled to come into your home.
If a meal is late at a restaurant, how do they react? Often, these microreactions can tell a lot about one’s true self. Remember, red flags now only get worse as time goes on, which can lead to divorce, should the relationship continue to progress.